Leadership, the AA Way

The Confession Factor

Anyone who has walked through the Twelve Steps of AA anticipates step 4 with wide-eyed trembling. Step 4 says I have made a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself. There are many ways to complete this step, but most agree that writing down one's moral failures in the areas of fears, resentments, relationships with others, material possessions, and sexual integrity are important.

"I finally completed step 4," a recovering alcoholic told me as we talked about his spiritual health. "I met my sponsor at 7-11 and I asked him if he was ready to hear my detailed confession. He directed me to a parked car outside. I was terrified." He went on with a smile, "I spent about an hour telling this man about all the things I had done wrong. Turns out, it was a stranger my sponsor paid to be with me. My sponsor didn't need to hear my junk. I just needed to hear it myself and be released in forgiveness."

Jesus warned the Pharisees, some strict religious leaders of his day, that they were like "whitewashed tombs," appearing beautiful on the outside while full of hypocrisy on the inside (Matthew 23:27-28). The temptation to point others to clarity while avoiding it ourselves is strong. As leaders, recognizing the true landscape of our hearts is a step, like Jesus said, in cleaning out our insides.

Searching and Fearless?

As leaders, we must be willing to face our own issues with both a "searching" and a "fearless" heart. Richard Foster shares his own journey of self-examination in Celebration of Discipline: "I did not take the difficult step of laying bare my inner life to another out of any deep burden or sense of sin. I did not feel there was anything wrong in the least—except one thing. I longed for more power to do the work of God. I felt inadequate to deal with many of the desperate needs that confronted me."

Before my AA transformation, I was happy to keep my sins between God and me. As I began to share my true heart with my mentors and teammates, I was shocked by the grace and compassion I received—much more than I was giving myself. I discovered that my own self-driven perceptions and expectations were misdirected. When I openly shared my weaknesses, my team understood that I am a leader who makes decisions out of my own brokenness, and that I can't do it alone. Confession provided much-needed correction.

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